BE YE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED: A BIBLICAL PERSPECTIVE ON MARRIAGE

Introduction

The doctrine of not being unequally yoked is a principle derived from 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV), which states:

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

The Bible emphasises the importance of spiritual unity in relationships. This article will expound on this doctrine, demonstrating that it applies to the relationship between believers and unbelievers and extends to marriage. 

This article further contends that Christians should marry "only in the Lord" (cf. 1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV). Marrying someone who shares the same beliefs is seen as crucial for spiritual harmony and growth in a marriage.

The Principle of Unequal Yoking

The metaphor of being unequally yoked originates from agricultural practices where two different animals, such as an ox and a donkey, are yoked together to plough a field.

Due to their differences in strength and nature, the yoke would be burdensome and ineffective. Similarly, a spiritually mismatched marriage will lead to discord and hinder spiritual growth.

Biblical Separation in Marriage

The Bible underscores the importance of marrying within the faith. Deuteronomy 7:1-4 (KJV) provides a clear commandment to the Israelites to avoid intermarriage with the pagan nations surrounding them:

"When the LORD thy God shall bring thee into the land whither thou goest to possess it, and hath cast out many nations before thee... thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them: Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son. For they will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other gods: so will the anger of the LORD be kindled against you, and destroy thee suddenly."

This passage highlights the spiritual dangers of intermarriage with unbelievers, which can lead to idolatry and departure from the faith. A marriage between a believer and a non-believer is prohibited according to Scripture and will not be blessed by God. 

Regrettably, many professing Christians marry unbelievers which is a fatal mistake not only for the Christian in question, but also for any children that come along subsequently. Imagine this: on Sunday the Christian wants to bring his children to church but the unbelieving spouse wants to bring the children to the beach instead (or to a temple if the spouse is of another religion). 

Where is the unity in the marriage in such a marriage? 

In the Westminster Confession of Faith, Article II of Chapter XXIV states the following:

II. Marriage was ordained for the mutual help of husband and wife, (Gen 2:18); for the increase of mankind with a legitimate issue, and of the Church with an holy seed, (Mal 2:15); and for preventing of uncleanness, (1Co 7:2, 9).

Can a marriage between a Christian and an unbeliever fulfil the above? This author respectfully submits that it is impossible since "[c]an two walk together, except they be agreed?" (Amos 3:3 KJV). Instead of being a "mutual help" to each other, husband and wife will be torn in different directions due to differences of belief. Additionally, there is a risk that children may not be raised as the Church's "holy seed" if the unbelieving spouse refuses to allow the children to be exposed to God's Word (although God's sovereign will shall determine whether children in such marriages are the elect and receive salvation from the Lord in due time).

Christians should take heed of the prohibition from Scripture in entering into unequally yoked marriages, for the benefit of their spiritual wellbeing and their soul.

Examples of Unequally Yoked Marriages

The Bible provides examples of men who suffered spiritually due to unequally yoked marriages.

• Samson: Despite being a judge of Israel, Samson's marriages to Philistine women led him away from God's commands and ultimately to his downfall. His relationship with Delilah, in particular, demonstrates the spiritual peril of being unequally yoked (Judges 16 KJV). Though Samson was mentioned as a man of faith (cf. Hebrews 11:32 KJV), he was also a man who yielded to the flesh and intermarried with the heathen.

• King Solomon: Despite all his wisdom, Solomon fell into idolatry due to his marriages to foreign women. He took for himself "seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart", and he did "evil in the sight of the Lord, and went not fully after the Lord, as did David his father", building high places for pagan gods and angering the Lord (1 Kings 11:1-10 KJV).

• Lot: Whilst Lot was described as "just" (2 Peter 2:7 KJV), the same cannot be said about his wife. This author believes Lot's wife is likely not born again. When fleeing from Sodom, she "looked back" and "became a pillar of salt" (Genesis 19:26 KJV). Lot did not cover himself with glory either, as he offered his daughters to the wicked men of Sodom who wanted to "know" the two angels (cf. Genesis 19:5-8 KJV). Eventually, he lost his wife, children and possessions except for two daughters who were corrupt in their thinking and committed incest with him (Genesis 19:31-38 KJV). Lot truly paid a heavy price for marrying an unbeliever! 

New Testament Teachings

The New Testament reinforces the importance of spiritual unity in marriage. In addition to 2 Corinthians 6:14, other scriptures emphasize the necessity of shared faith:

• 1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV: "The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord."

• Ephesians 5:31-32 KJV: "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church."

These verses highlight that marriage should reflect the relationship between Christ and the Church, characterized by spiritual unity and mutual faith.

The Doctrine of Biblical Separation

The doctrine of biblical separation goes beyond marriage, encompassing the broader principle of maintaining holiness and avoiding relationships that can lead one away from God. Christians are called to live distinct and holy lives, avoiding partnerships that compromise their faith.

• 1 Peter 2:9 KJV: "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light."

• James 4:4 KJV: "Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God."

Conclusion

In conclusion, the doctrine of not being unequally yoked is a vital biblical principle, particularly in marriage. Christians are called to marry within the faith, ensuring spiritual unity and growth. The Bible provides clear commandments and examples demonstrating the dangers of marrying unbelievers, underscoring the importance of maintaining spiritual harmony in all relationships.

May the Lord help Christians desiring marriage to uphold this sacred principle of only marrying fellow Christians, and not yield to the lust of the flesh in marrying unbelievers. Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV: "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."